Quantcast

Monday, July 2, 2012

The Beauty of Boredom

I've been trying to figure out a way to write this post without sounding all judgmental or high and mighty, because I have no desire to be either of those things.  I guess I worry because I've seen posts like this written before and they always cause me to stop and take a step back and analyze the time I'm spending online and on social media.  I'm not trying to make any philosophical statements about social media here, so know that up front.  I'm running two blogs for goodness sake, so I'm hardly one to preach about stepping back and spending less time online.  But I thought I'd just share something I recently did and how it's helped ground me a bit more, so I guess take what you will from it.
About two weeks ago I removed Twitter and Facebook from my phone.  It's no huge statement like cancelling my accounts or shutting down my blogs, but it was a small step that has helped tremendously.  While I'd love to say that my sole purpose was to be a more connected, present mom and wife, I'd be lying if I said I did have some selfish ulterior motives.  The bottom line?  I noticed that I was getting more and more ADD having these social media time sucks on my phone.
I've always been a pretty focused person, good at multi-tasking and also efficient at focusing on one project at a time.  But I'm convinced that the more and more time I spend online, the more attention deficit I become, and the mobile device just adds to the problem.  While I know theoretically I couldn't or didn't want to make a rash decision and cancel my accounts, I figured by at least removing these things from my phone would hopefully help me stay a little more focused when away from the computer, and it would in turn help me when I sit down to work at the computer.  It had gotten to the point where I'd walk into the office to do something legitimate like email a teacher or pay a bill and I'd get distracted by Facebook or Twitter, spend 5 minutes scrolling through the feed, get up and walk away, completely forgetting why I had sat down at my desk in the first place.  There's just so many shiny things to see when I jump on here.  Fess up, I know I'm not the only one ;)

This same type of distracted pattern was emerging when out and about as well.  I was picking up my phone for no good reason at all, other than out of pure habit.  Refreshing my feed every few minutes just to see if anyone had posted anything earth shattering.  No one I was with ever really complained about it, and I could leave my phone at home or in the car if need be and not suffer from severe withdrawals.  But it just started to get to me.  I started to feel guilty having the kids see me constantly pick up my phone, and I got irritated with myself that I couldn't sit through a stop light without checking my phone.

So I deleted my accounts off my phone.  At first just for summer, but I am enjoying this new way of life so much that I think it will become my new normal.

A couple of days ago I had a moment alone at a family function, and usually I'd use that time to scroll through my phone and make sure I was all up to date.  But I sat there just looking around with nothing to preoccupy me.  For a split second I thought to myself "Well this is kinda boring", and if I could've slapped myself I would have.  As quick as the thought came in, I counteracted it with the statement "This is your life", and I looked around and observed my life and the people I was with and what they were doing and I realized it wasn't boring at all.  There was plenty to look at, to soak up and sink in, to appreciate, to feel grateful for, to laugh at and even smirk at.  This was, and is my life, before smart phones and the constant invasion of other people's lives into mine.  This is the only life I have to live and I better enjoy it, the fun times, the bad times, and even the simple everyday times that may seem boring and very ordinary.  All these times are ones I am grateful for.  I forgot how beautiful and simple life could be without all those other distractions. 

We went to the beach the other day.  Crystal Cove to be exact.  I held my Taylor's hands as she jumped in and out of waves, begging me not to let go.  I watched my Syd play chicken with the waves over and over and over again, trying to see how close he could let them get to his toes before he could safely outrun them.  He giggled and laughed something fierce and I saw it all.  I stopped a couple of times to take some pictures via Instagram, but there was no pausing to write 140 characters or update my status alerting everyone that I was having a good time at the beach.  I just had a good time, with only myself and my family to witness it.  And my God it felt good.  Downright glorious in fact.  I can't remember the last time I had felt so happy and energetic and even if it is a cliche of a word, present.
Perhaps something like this wouldn't work for you, or you don't find it necessary to do.  But if you've been feeling a pull to disconnect a bit more, even if just for summer when you're supposed to be soaking up life by the bucket fulls, this might just be the thing for you.  Either way, it is definitely working for me and so I thought I'd share.  Have you ever done a social media cleanse of some sort?  If so, what were your results and how did you do it?       

P.S. I just so happened to come across this post tonight that touches on this compulsory need to check in and see what's going on.

16 comments:

  1. Beautiful post my friend! So glad you had such a special family day. We love Crystal Cove, but haven't been in years. Hope to see you soon.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I've been contemplating doing the same thing, I find myself reaching for my phone too often.

    ReplyDelete
  3. i LOVE this!

    i was late to get an iPhone (in my groups of friends) and always despised the constant checking during our conversations! i felt so super cool tweeting from my "iPhone" once i got one, and didn't do any "checking" during conversations... but right after! i recently had an entire break from the internet computer, phone, etc and i found myself like you enjoying life, enjoying my children, spending time doing things. i almost dropped it altogether, then missed it. i like this idea of cutting off my phone only. a little moderation goes a long way. i am finding my kids are on their iPod touches too much each day, so we are saying 2 hours of screen time a day (this includes movies so...)

    so glad to have your great mind as an influencer in my life Andrea! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  4. Love this! I deleted pinterest awhile back, but I think I need to do the same for twitter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Funny, I never got into Pinterest on my phone. Not sure why...it just sits there and I maybe have logged in 5 times?

      Delete
  5. It is so funny that I'm reading this today because I JUST deleted FB from my phone as well. I deleted Twitter permanently (as in the entire account) a few weeks ago and I love it. It is such a habit and for me it was distracting and allowing for disconnections. Enjoy your boredom!

    ReplyDelete
  6. That's why I've never installed social media in my phone. I'm afraid I'd lose a lot of valuable time.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You probably already guessed I would like something like this. :) Since getting my iPhone back in February, I've noticed more and more that I check my Twitter and email as a default. Stoplight? Check phone. Waiting for seat at restaurant? Check phone. Waiting for a friend? Check phone. It's become my go-to setting, and I'm trying to fix that. I'll see if I can do so the next few days without deleting anything (I already am without a Facebook account), but if I discover my self-control isn't what I'd like it to be, I'm bookmarking this idea. I love that you still have Twitter, email, etc., you've just removed it from your fingertips. Which, really... should it even be there to begin with? Ah yes... the things I think about all the time...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I figured you'd like it :) And the checking the phone at the stop light was a huge thing for me. I had to stop and ask myself, "why can't I just sit here in my own thoughts anymore?" That's when I knew I had to change things up a bit...

      Delete
  8. Too true. . .that's why I deleted FB a year ago. But it seems Twitter and Instagram pull me away too--not as much, but still...getting them off my device seems like the most logical thing to truly make a change--something to definitely think about: ) Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Great post, Andrea! I can totally relate! I get annoyed at people who can't have a conversation in person without checking their phone or texting someone else, so I try to consciously focus on people when I'm out and about, interacting with them. But I'm afraid I don't give my family the same courtesy. I, too, have picked up my phone for no reason whatsoever and find myself getting irritated at stoplights if there are no new posts on FB to check out.

    I need to probably do what you've done. Now to find the strength and courage to do so! :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. I like the idea of doing it for the summer...I don't need to check updates all day long...at night, if I have time is fine. I will be deleting facebook and pinterest off my ipod touch. (I don't have a smart phone) Thanks for reminding me to live in the MOMENT!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Found your blog through Modern Mrs. Darcy's link. I love this post because I also deleted Facebook and Twitter from my phone in early May. I thought I'd really miss having access, but I think I've only had one moment that I wished they were still there. After almost a year of breastfeeding (and using my iPhone as entertainment during those feedings) I needed time away from the addicting pull. Thanks for putting into words all the reasons I gave up those apps too!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Wow. Thanks for posting this. Yes, I know I have a problem. But I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't want to go "cold turkey" , but I need to take away the temptation to check my phone at stoplights. It's a horrible example for my daughters to see and they will be driving in a couple of years.

    Okay, leaving now to take FB and Twitter off my phone. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I really appreciated this post. I am constantly being ridiculed by friends and co-workers because I blog and manage social media at my job, but I don't own a smart phone. I've been really considering making the leap, but I really appreciate that I can only update or check Twitter/FB when I'm actually on my computer. It just feels good to know I'm not crazy! :) And I appreciate this realistic compromise before for those of us who enjoy communication and writing, total disengagement isn't quite feasible.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment. I read and appreciate every single one. If you enable your email address I'd love to respond :)

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...